reminiscing...

Lately, my soul has sounded like Jon Foreman's song, "the cure for the pain"... I doubt that someone would actually read this post, this blog, but if someone does,.. if YOU do, then... listen to this, it has an immediate effect on one's heart...



A man of God once told me that i need to spend a lot of time thinking that "there is a time for everything"; that i should actually mark in my diary everything that i discover concerning "everything in its own time"... And i did that, if not in writting, at least in feeling, and thinking...

I had tried to find a cure for the pain, but... oooooh, the verses from Ecclesiastes 3 seemed to tell me that it was time for me to throw away all the worries and doubts.. to embrace the mistery again, to taste the unknown , to enter the narrow gate again... So i started to build a valuable faith, knowing that God sees my struggle... I had to learn that indeed, there is a time to tear and to mend, to love and to hate, to be silent and to speak, to search and to give up, but the hardest to accept was verse 8: "a time for war and a time for peace."... The war has its own time... even the war is allowed by God... Even the wounds, burns and longing for home; the agony of a war where you doubt your own existence, when the death that you see everywhere seems to rot in your bones and you feel that nowhere will you find salvation... when you feel that even God has turned His eyes away from you and not even the dreams hold the promise of a fullfilled future... So even this war, this emotional struggle, has its own time (and may i add, purpose...) And then.. there's PEACE... even peace is prophesied... When the battle freezes you more than you can bare, when you feel that nothing could ever warm you up again, there comes the Peace, like a spring from Heaven,.. the peace promised long time ago,  before knowing there would even be a war... Even the Peace has an appointed time... And it gently flows over you, taking care of the wounds dug in your meat, in your heart... The wounds remain, and unlike the birth pains, these will never be forgotten.. They make you old, they humble you, but the peace comes in its time, and tames them. The war grows you so you can learn to receive peace... And peace gets you closer to God...


These were my thoughts 4 years ago, and now, after such a long time, i remembered that period, and i was surprised to find myself dealing with some of the same matters, only now, i'm joyfull and patient,.. now, my faith has grown in the One who showed me His glory some summers ago... 4 years ago, i was a lost soldier trying to win a war that i never understood. Now, i'm a found soul in the hands of the supreme PEACE... There was a time for war, because i learnt to appreciate peace. and peace, .. well.. it got me closer to Life:)