yesterday night we spoke spanish for a while, and it reminded me of this song... i have such a strange feeling when i hear it,.. it might be a smell, or a dream, or a person, or a season.. i dont know.. but the song brings me back blind but peaceful memories...
what a terrible night, knowing that any second the alarm would go off and my baby will leave again to the most awful place... i've watched over him, learning his way of breathing by heart, fearing that i might lose him by going to sleep.. oh, if i could blend his body with mine, and keep it so tight that he'd never leave again...
my sweet man
my peace and joy...
i sometimes love my sadness and loneliness, but i cant bare seeing depression in his eyes... i see him every morning going to a place that crushes his dreams, and i let him go with the most desperate prayer on my lips, that he will come back happy.... but he comes back trembling, my baby comes back trembling... and i wanna die rather than see him crushed...
my baby... our song is burried in the light of your eyes, and i can only hope it will bring you great sight in the heart of things... when you are lonely, my whispered prayer will tickle your ears, and when in a crowded place, you will find redemption...
your dreams WILL come true, i promise this with all my heart! i will do everyhting in my power to bring back the joy on your face! let this promis light up your night and give you hope on your way...
we are so far away from everything that means LIFE, rehabilitation, salvation... we are trapped in the circle of imbalance..we've become a part of desert that's longing for relief.. not for rain, because the desert cant bare rain, but for relief...
i love him from far and from close, i love him with shadows and lights, i love him when there's nothing against us, and i love him more when it all turns around to bite us... everything that's in the world, i take it and divide it to two, and my baby feels my warmth cus otherwise he wouldnt survive in this shit hole...
for a few days, something unexpected happened: he became desperate for me, his lips have the shape of my name and every passing second that we have together is an ocassion to renew our love and addiction to eachother... our hearts are dancing together and this renews our home, it gives us more meaning than ever, because desperation brought us together, instead of locking us separately, in each of our own little worlds... he's the blooming wall of my captivity and we're trembling like leaves in front of the future, but our inner world is an eternal harmony that no one will ever steal!
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